And If Not, He Is Still Good

We will likely never face a literal fiery furnace, but our lives as believers won’t be without hardships. Whether it is a personal tragedy, social evils, or unmet desires, we may all encounter situations where we ask God “why,” and must decide to trust Him regardless of the circumstances. 

God has blessed me in so many ways. I have a great family, I love my job as a faculty member, and I have close friendships. The one prayer He has yet to answer is my desire for marriage. I assumed God would send me someone at the “right time,” and that “right time” couldn’t possibly be past the age of thirty.

More than a decade later, I’m still single. I have watched friends, family members, co-workers, and students have their prayers for marriage answered, while it seems my prayer is bouncing off the sky. In many difficult moments, I have allowed Satan’s lies to permeate my heart, with taunts of not being good enough, attractive enough, or personable enough for marriage.

During these times, I must cling to what I know, rather than what I feel. I know I’m a child of the One True King…I’m made in His image…I’m fearfully and wonderfully made…He is sovereign over all.

I’m tempted to tell God how unfair He is, as if I deserve a problem-free life. The truth is, it’s a good thing I don’t get what I deserve…an eternal sentence of separation from Him. But through the sacrifice of Jesus, God chooses to offer me grace over judgment, forgiveness over vengeance, and mercy over condemnation. If He never grants me another blessing, that is reason enough to praise Him for His goodness.

Christians aren’t immune from difficulties. Jesus tells us just the opposite. “In the world you will have tribulations.” (John 16:33), so I’ve learned not to equate God’s goodness with getting what I want. His goodness isn’t dependent upon successes, nor is it diminished by failures or disappointments. His goodness simply is, has always been, and will forever be.

Until God calls me to singleness, I will continue to pray that a husband and family are in my future. I believe that He is working in the waiting. Perhaps He is shaping “him” into the man who will love me as Christ loves the church. Or perhaps He is preparing me for a life of solitude, where I will lay this desire at His feet, believing His plan for me is better than anything I could design for myself.

I hope I’ll eventually find that God’s answer to my prayer wasn’t “no,” but “not yet”…and if not, He is still good.