Let Us Not Become Weary

The trouble was—I had become just that: weary. On the outside, everything in my ministry at work looked the same. I identified myself as a Christian in the classroom, prayed for my students, and stood as an example of the compatibility between faith and science. But on the inside, I felt like I was going through the motions, following a careful script I crafted over the years.

“Pushing Her Religion”

Then, at the end of fall quarter, I received lower than usual student evaluation scores along with these comments:

“Religion and Christianity was frequently mentioned with references of non-consensual prayer for us as individual students”

“…mentioned her religion a lot more than reasonable and seemed to be pushing her religion onto her students which I did not appreciate”

I felt shocked and angry. Non-consensual prayer? I prayed for my students during a personal devotional time at home. I seethed—I didn’t need anyone’s permission for what I prayed to God. And as for “talking too much about religion” in a biology class—I only briefly mentioned my faith three or four times during the 10-week quarter.

Should I Continue?

As the next quarter approached, my anger transitioned to nervousness and uncertainty. Should I continue identifying as a Christian in my classroom? Would I receive lower evaluation scores again? Could those student comments and more like it get me into trouble? I prayed and decided to stick to my script.

Well, mostly.

I changed the way I prayed for my students. I use a notecard check-in—asking students, “How are you doing?”—to pray for them specifically. In the past, I told my students afterwards that I used the notecards to pray for them—hence the “non-consensual prayer” comment. And perhaps I did have some fear of telling them beforehand, unsure how that would be received.

Joyfully and Passionately

But this time, I told my students up front. When I passed out the notecards, I explained that as an expression of my personal faith I would like to pray for them—by name and for what they had written. I added, “If you are okay with that, put a check mark on the notecard.”

The response overwhelmed me. So many students thanked me for the prayers.

 Students wrote out “please pray for my:” anxiety, stress, girlfriend, grandparents….And I did—joyfully and passionately—in a way I hadn’t felt in over a year. I identified a little with Joseph: what others intended for harm, God used for good.

As I kept praying about how much to say about my faith in the classroom, God freed me from my careful script. I was not obligated to go through the motions. Instead, I trusted in the Lord each day to guide me and found new strength to run and not grow weary, to walk and not faint.