In March of 2020, I was over halfway through my final semester of coursework for a full-time, in-person doctoral program when COVID-19 changed everything.
As the wife of an essential worker and mother of two kids in 1st and 4th grades, I suddenly found myself homeschooling while completing my own courses virtually and drafting my dissertation proposal.
I was overwhelmed, stressed, and confused. I tried to push forward with my plan to finish my courses and propose my dissertation before the end of the semester. Before long, I began to realize I couldn’t do it all as I planned.
I prayed.
A Difficult Decision
I was discouraged and wondered if pursuing my Ph.D. had been the right choice in the first place. I told God about all my problems and asked for wisdom and direction. The Holy Spirit reminded me of the ways God provided and opened doors in the past. Verses about God’s good plans for our lives came to mind (Jeremiah 29:11; Philippians 1:6).
I conferred with my husband and Ph.D. advisors and made the difficult decision to postpone my proposal for a year. My family needed me. And as an applied researcher partnering with schools, I was very unlikely to find a site to conduct my study. Although discouraged and disappointed, the peace of God was with me.
Questioned My Plan Frequently
As the 2020-2021 academic year progressed, I developed my dissertation proposal. I planned to conduct my study in schools during the 2021-2022 academic year. I questioned my plan frequently and wondered if I would ever graduate.
I also took many long walks – around my neighborhood, on campus, through city parks – and I prayed. I asked God for wisdom, direction, and provision. I asked for insight, especially if my dissertation was headed in the wrong direction and I needed to change my plans.
Make My Path Straight
An interesting thing happened on many of my walks. Time and time again my eyes would be drawn to a long, straight stretch of path ahead of me. Sometimes it was a long, straight sidewalk bordered by tress, or a long path that led to the edge of campus, or a road that continued in a straight line up many hills. These were all places I had walked and seen for years, but suddenly, they stood out to me.
Simultaneously, verses proclaiming God’s ability to make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:6), to make new ways (Isaiah 43:19), and to light our path (Psalm 119:105) would come to mind.
The Holy Spirit was reminding me that God always has things under control.
Peace in Turbulent Times
Through God’s wisdom and provision, I partnered with a school in time to defend my dissertation in the spring of 2022. I started my faculty position that fall.
I’m learning that most endeavors don’t go according to my plans. I’m thankful for God’s provision, wisdom, and faithfulness. Knowing that I can pray about any and every undertaking gives me encouragement and peace, especially in turbulent times.
