Realignment in the Weariness

I think juggling the demands of academia while raising a toddler has left me physically exhausted and emotionally drained. The pressures felt unrelenting, and in the midst of it all, I found myself slipping into survival mode: showing up, performing, but internally running on empty.

There were moments I questioned whether I had anything left to give. My vision felt blurry, my passion for ministry and purpose dimmed, and my time with God grew quiet—too quiet. I was physically doing all the right things, but my heart was weary. 

A Sacred Space

And yet, in that very place of weariness, God met me through the gentle, faithful presence of my faculty small group with Cru. Being part of that group was more than just a support system; it became a sacred space for honesty and reflection. I learned to truly listen to others share their struggles and how they’re leaning on God to walk through them. 

Most powerfully, during our Bible study discussions, I began to see academia not merely as a profession, but as a divine calling, and something God has placed in our hands with purpose. Hearing others speak that truth rekindled something within me.

Despite my exhaustion and weariness, it reminded me of what God once told me too—a truth I had forgotten amid life’s demands and my own weariness.

The group reminded me that faithfulness to the vision God has placed in my life isn’t dependent on how strong I feel. In fact, it’s in my weakness that His strength becomes undeniable.

Starts with the Heart

Through our fellowship together, prayers, encouragement, and even just shared silence, I was reminded that I am not alone. That God has not called me to carry everything, but to carry what He’s given me, with His help. This helped me to be sincere with God, with my heart, and I would pray to God at different times to help me and help my heart.

This simple, desperate prayer was the beginning of a shift. Not a dramatic, overnight change, but a profound, steady realignment of my heart. More than anything, this season has taught me that real mission starts with the heart.

When my priorities became misaligned, I didn’t notice it at first. Slowly, subtly, I had begun to place productivity over presence and tasks over time with God. The group helped me recalibrate, not by giving me more to do, but by pointing me back to Jesus. 

It’s About Presence

Today I can say that my passion is returning slowly, not in a rush of energy, but as a quiet, steady, rooted fire. I’m growing in patience, learning grace, and embracing the process of being reset. And it’s not about perfection. It’s about presence. God’s presence. And me abiding with openness.

So, to anyone feeling tired, maybe even spiritually numb, I want to remind you: being part of a Christ-centered community matters. 

It matters deeply. It’s in those moments of being seen, heard, and gently called back to truth that we find our strength renewed.

Our Own Surrender

Let us not forget that in our calling as Christian faculty, our witness begins with our own surrender. With being honest with God. The impact we long to make on our campuses flows not from our striving, but from our abiding.

I’m still on the journey. But I’m grateful for the reset. And I know I’m not walking it alone.