One of our department’s PhD students committed suicide late in 2018. Earlier that week, two undergraduate students had taken their lives.
I rarely talked to the grad student even though he had been here for at least six years. He always seemed pleasant, and he was easy to spot for he wore a turban, being a Sikh from India. Of course, I wish now I had spoken the last time we walked past each other, just a month before this tragedy.
Many students feel alone, and this leads them down the spiral of depression.
What could I do – and the department do – to reduce the isolation and to spot those who are at risk or who are already suffering?
The difficulty in identifying these students is that they often do not reach out for help. And since “out of sight/out of mind” prevails, we become so busy with our own concerns that we’re not sensitive to those around us.
What’s a Christian to do in such a situation? Sit around and hope it won’t happen again?
After this tragic event, I wanted to find a means to engage all our department’s grad students in personal interactions that might one day be a lifeline to one of them. I share here what I believe God is leading me to do in case He might have been working along a similar vein in the minds and hearts of other Christian faculty.
To my mind, the plan should employ the comfort and friendship that develops from small groups, and yet it should be applicable to our large department. I want a compelling, personal event in which students would want to engage.
After many prayers for guidance, one morning in a church service I received inspiration and direction.
At the start of the Fall semester, we will have about 140 Ph.D. students and 40 faculty. What if each faculty member personally invites about four students to their home for a casual dinner with their family. These various dinners will occur during the same week, early in the semester. The mix of students at each home would be from various year’s classes, and no student would be at their advisor’s home.
All grad students would be invited, and all would be expected to attend. The students would talk to each other both before and after the dinners – to find areas of common interest and to compare experiences. I don’t have a magic wand, but I especially would like the small groups at each home to cultivate friendships. Some students may be uneasy initially, but the hope is that those who are lonely will see there are many who care – both students and faculty.
The goal is that these dinners will occur every Fall, maybe every term. Each student will always be in a different small group and will visit a different home. The reward for the students, especially for the lonely and at risk, is a personal connection point with a professor and fellow students.
Maybe there will be more warm hearts, and fewer depressed souls, after a meal together.
James Sowell
Georgia Tech