The commercial for a life insurance company uses the line, “Life comes at you fast!” I finally understand what that means.
Growing up in a Christian home, I learned how to pray, read my Bible, and attend church services (excuse the pun) religiously. Unfortunately, I took God for granted. I prayed, but didn’t really talk to God. I read my Bible, but never really applied the lessons to my life. I attended church weekly, but only out of habit. You see, I was going through the motions of being a Christian, but I had never really met Christ.
Two years ago, life was going good for me. I had just published another award-winning book. I was the president of several organizations; my kids were doing well in school; I was an academic program director. My health was good.
Within a few months, all of the things that buttressed my spiritual arrogance came tumbling down. I was asked to resign from my director position. I was not re-elected to the presidency of the organization I was leading. My kids started rebelling and engaging in things of which I did not approve. And then, I was diagnosed with cancer and had to go through a painful operation and 37 sessions of radiation.
All of a sudden, the words from that commercial became real to me. Life comes at you fast. Everything that I had hung my faith on was shattered. I thought that because I attended church, prayed, and read my Bible that I was immune to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
So, why was God was humbling me? I had to learn to trust God even while I couldn’t see God.
What I have learned through this difficult ordeal is that the Apostle Paul was right. “The just shall live by faith.”Romans 1:17 I finally understood what Isaiah was saying in Isaiah 6:1, “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple.”
It was only when I was down, that I learned to look up. It was only when I was sick that I learned to trust the healer. It was when my eyes were blinded with tears that I finally saw God. I had been far too dependent on myself. I thought the key to my success was my skills, hard work, and intelligence, when what I needed to learn was how to depend on God.
I have become a much more patient and empathetic professor who asks if I can pray for my students when they come to me with their challenges. I am much less suspicious when students tell me about their heartaches and pains. I have learned the power of grace because when I was down, I saw God.
Christianity is a strange religion because sometimes the best way to win is to surrender.
Abel A. Bartley
Clemson University
