The hardest part of my job as a professor and associate chair is to deal with people. Give me a science problem and I’ll happily close the door to my office and chew on it. However, that is not how life in academia works. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like my job and I love it when I see the ‘lightbulbs’ turn on in the heads of my students and they start to understand chemistry. Yet, there are also days when I’d rather be retired.
Perhaps it is the administration that wants its pound of flesh, or a conflict among faculty colleagues bubbles up that needs attention. Towards the end of a semester, it may be the rising tide of complaints by students seeing their grades go south, which is of course always the fault of their instructors. Sometimes it is the irate parent who doesn’t understand why their A-student isn’t getting the special treatment they deserve.
So, how can I keep my sanity during those days and still serve the people that God puts into my life to serve?
One of my high school teachers who wasn’t a Christian once gave me the following advice: “When people argue with you try not to take anything personal. Focus on the problem at hand and try to help them find a solution.”
It stuck with me because it works.
When someone argues with you, they are ready for a fight and expect you to hit back. Not taking offense but trying to help them find a solution is unexpected. It positions you as a friend who comes alongside them with the offer to help find a solution to their problem.
Come to think of it, this is exactly how God treats us. He is grieved by our rebellion against Him, but He is not offended. Rather He made the first move toward reconciliation. Romans 5:8 explicitly tells us that the Messiah, Jesus, died for us while we were still sinners (while we were still in rebellion against God and arguing with Him).
Instead of engaging in a shouting match, Jesus went to the cross to resolve our problem, the sin that separates us from the presence of God. As Christ-followers we accept His offer, give up our resistance, and allow him to embrace us as a friend and brother. In turn, our outlook on life and death changes and we can live our life knowing that He is with us and calls us His children.
As children of God, we are to reflect Him and His love into a dark world that for the most part still lives by the motto ‘an eye for an eye….’ Next time when someone crosses you, take a deep breath and decide to ignore the offense and forgive them.
As Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” By focusing on that person and their needs you may open a window for them to experience Christ and smell His fragrance in their interaction with you (2 Cor. 2:15).
Alex Angerhoffer
University of Florida