Hope > Anxiety

During the Fall 2021 semester, I found myself in an unexpected, acute, and severe season of anxiety. Onset by an illness, this anxiety left me feeling like only a shadow of myself, just a whisper of the oft-joyful and energetic person I used to be. It was here in this season where God met me, walked beside me, and healed me.

I tried everything I could to escape the anxiety – controlling my diet, memorizing new Bible verses, plastering scriptural truths on every wall space I could, and instituting new sensory strategies into my day.

But release did not come from my many attempts to control; rather, in complete surrender to my Father.

Once I released the darkness of my circumstances into the light through conversations with fellow believers and eager pleads for prayer, God proclaimed victory over what was already His: my mind.

Instead of trying to actively combat the anxiety, I started to actively seek the hope of Jesus. In this full surrender, God mercifully displayed His faithfulness.

I stepped into the Spring 2022 semester a bit wounded but healing. My first-day-of-class request from students was a response to this: “I want Lisa to know _______.” Every semester, these statements give insight into the lives of my students. This semester, they also revealed God’s purpose for my season of anxiety: On nearly 40% of my 150+ students’ responses, I saw the word “anxiety.”

Several of my students confided their own struggle with anxiety– one of whom had such crippling anxiety that many days he struggled to make it out of his bedroom. But he consistently came to our class because, as he stated, he felt safe and understood.

With a new perspective and empathy beyond what my human mind could muster, I was able to serve my students in ways that only God could have ordained.

One day in particular, as a guest speaker had come to share her expertise with the class, I was able to inconspicuously escort a student out of class who was having a full-fledged panic attack. As we searched together for a safe and quiet space to sit, the Holy Spirit guided me in sharing sensory strategies and focus techniques with the student.

At that moment, I noticed a “WWJD-HWLF” bracelet on her wrist, [editor’s note: What Would Jesus Do?/ He Would Love First] at which point I was able to reassure this student that Jesus sat beside her. I shared several scripture verses that I had only recently memorized for my own desperate moments of anxiety, and I prayed for her – right there in that cold and unfriendly university hallway.

God, and God alone, sustained me through the 2021-2022 academic year. He also showed His favor by providing new opportunities I would never have thought to seek out.

Our trustworthy God of hope guided my heart and mind to realize that joy and peace are not found in gaining control, but in surrendering.