Throughout my life, I have struggled with wanting to be in control.
One of the verses I regularly held on to was Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
However, I struggled to live as if I believed this truly.
The Lord Has This
A case in point related to selling our house to move to a new faculty job. Amid a weak housing market, we needed to sell our house for the asking price to walk away, not owing anything. I had about eight different alternative scenarios thought through in case that didn’t happen. My wife reminded me that the Lord has this. She was right; the house sold in eight days for the price we needed to sell it for.
While I may have learned this truth in my personal life, it wasn’t entirely true in my academic life. Throughout my academic career, I have struggled with fearing failure and wanting to be in control. I also have always desired the approval of those around me. I was a people pleaser.
People Pleasing
About four years ago, I took on an administrative position as department chair while still an associate professor. I learned quickly that people were not always going to be pleased with the decisions that I make.
As I struggled personally with loneliness and a change in my role within the university, I turned back to Jeremiah 29:11, the verse cited above. As I reflected on it and put this verse into my own words, I summarized this verse in a way that has provided me peace in leading. “You can control the choices and decisions you make, but you can’t control the choices and decisions that others make. But ultimately, I know God has a plan and I can trust Him.”
God Will Work Things Out
If I make decisions guided by truth and how others should be treated, I can rest at ease with those decisions. In the end, God will work things out for His purposes.
Since making this realization and realizing that my decisions are the only ones I can control, I have been given numerous opportunities to share this nugget of wisdom with students and my college-aged children. Sadly, it took me well into my forties to discover it for myself. Hopefully, sharing this with students helps impart this truth in a way that can be applied in their lives much sooner.
