{"id":3982,"date":"2023-02-28T10:04:32","date_gmt":"2023-02-28T15:04:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/campus.cru.org\/faculty\/?p=3982"},"modified":"2023-08-16T10:45:07","modified_gmt":"2023-08-16T14:45:07","slug":"until-the-fog-lifts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/campus.cru.org\/faculty\/2023\/until-the-fog-lifts\/","title":{"rendered":"Until the Fog Lifts"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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In the summer of 2021, I was diagnosed with metastatic appendix cancer. Thankfully, despite its inconveniences, chemotherapy seems to be working well for me.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Two years prior to my diagnosis, my wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and a decade prior to that, my sister with uterine cancer.<\/p>\n

This past April, my sister died, followed soon afterward by my wife\u2014and the painful, difficult circumstances they both faced leading up to their deaths have traumatized my family and me. <\/p>\n

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These recent losses confront me with numerous practical questions. Should I keep my faculty position or retire? If the latter, to where? (my kids and grandkids are scattered across the country). Should I continue my efforts to facilitate interdenominational ministry initiatives? <\/p>\n

Should I keep wearing my wedding ring? Should I consider remarriage? And would remarriage please my adult children, or would it displace our beloved \u201cMimi\u201d from her rightful place as the family matriarch? <\/p>\n

I find clear answers to these questions strangely elusive\u2014like trying to read a normally clear billboard through a fog. <\/p>\n

The losses also raise a question about whom I should turn to for help. <\/p>

I Peter 1:7 says, \u201ccasting all your anxiety upon Him, for He cares for you.\u201d <\/blockquote>

But lately, I\u2019ve taken to reading the same verse with my own personal paraphrase: \u201ccasting all your anxiety upon them<\/em>, because they <\/em>care for you\u201d (italics mine).<\/p>\n

I hope this approach isn\u2019t heretical\u2014because I find it helpful. And maybe it\u2019s theologically justifiable, since members of the body of Christ are said to be \u201cin Him\u201d (John 15:5, Colossians 2:10), other biblical passages encourage us to lean on other believers (Galatians 5:2), and still others teach us that ordinary people can be God\u2019s mouthpieces via divine inspiration (II Peter 1:19-21). <\/p>\n

Since my wife\u2019s passing, it\u2019s been so hard to hear God\u2019s guiding voice with simplicity and clarity. I want to make the fog evaporate as the mist does in the morning sunshine.<\/p>\n

This desire for simplicity and clarity runs (slightly) against my scholarly side, as simplicity is not always prized by scholars in their respective fields of specialization. But I am a chemist\u2014not a theologian\u2014and my recent painful circumstances have driven me to crave simple answers to complex questions.  <\/p>\n

Which brings me back to the they\/Him dichotomy: Do I ask Him <\/em>or them<\/em> for guidance regarding my current circumstances? <\/p>\n

Yes, God gives wisdom liberally and without reproach (James 1:5-8). Although I have sought answers from both Father and friends\u2014for now at least\u2014I find an audible human voice easier to interpret than God\u2019s still and quiet voice. And I am finding that the empathetic voices of a small set of believing friends are helping to bring the clarity I seek. <\/p>\n

That said, I trust the two voices are consistent, as I hope to hear His voice through<\/em> theirs. But in my current fog, I don\u2019t feel I can hear Him with any clarity without <\/em>them. For now, I trust that leaning hard on my Christian brothers and sisters is a reliable way of guidance for me until His voice becomes clear again. <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Mark Masthay<\/strong>
Chemistry
University of Dayton<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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