5 Tips for Adults Working with Teens

If you are an adult wanting to help students grow, thank you. There has never been a more important time for adults to step into the lives of teenagers to walk with them, guide them, and help them process the things going on in their lives. Research says that most teenagers do not believe someone cares for them or believes in them. Students need adults to come alongside them, care for them, and listen to them.

Even so, relationships between students and adults can be tricky to navigate in today’s culture. So we have come up with five tips to help you, as an adult, have great conversations and relationships with teenagers to help them win in life.

1 Be Humble

Many adults are smarter and wiser than most teens. And they make it clear in the way they communicate. If the student feels like they are on the wrong end of a ‘one-up-one-down’ conversation, they may not want to listen or understand what you are saying. As an adult talking to a minor, examine your words and actions to make sure you are not relating to teens as if you are smarter and wiser. Most teenagers do not enter into a conversation with an adult because they are looking for an expert on life. In fact, your ability to listen and ask good questions will help better understand the person you are talking to, which will lead to a win-win conversation.

Connect in a Safe Space

You might be asking, what do we mean by safe space? Here is an example to help answer this question. Picture yourself at a retreat and after one of the main meetings you asked one of the teens from your group if they would be ok telling you their story. They said sure, but wanted to share it away from the crowd of people. You suggest moving to the lobby area where there are some couches. When you move to the lobby area the teen opts for a couch that is kind of around the corner and kind of under a flight of stairs. At this point, some warning lights should start to go off in your brain. While this seems like a good spot for a private conversation, this is not a safe space for an adult and a minor to meet.

Our world is broken in many ways and the trust that our society used to give adults has been betrayed many times. Knowing this, we will choose a safe space so students and adults can see that we are trustworthy. There are many adults who can be trusted and your commitment to connect in a safe space will prove to others that you can be trusted also.

Here are some good guidelines to determine what is a safe space. First, ask, “Is this a public space?” and “Are you visible to others?” If you are in a public space, but the only way to see you is to walk into the same area you are, like the space under a staircase or a secluded set of chairs in a library, then it is not a safe space. Second, be sure another trusted adult knows where you are meeting and has the freedom to ask you how it went after the meeting. It would be especially good if that other trusted adult and other students could actually see you. Public spaces where others can see are always better than private, out-of-the-way locations.

See Yourself as Part of a Team

As you get to know a teen, you will learn about some of the other adults who care for them. We hope and pray there are many adults in a teen’s life who care for them, beginning with their parents. We believe that God has His eyes on teenagers and He knows the fear, pain, and confusion they face and will be sending people like you to guide them. Some of the teens you will meet will have several caring adults in their life like parents, teachers, coaches, and pastors. Others will have almost no caring adults involved in their life.

This is important to keep in mind as you talk to teens because God often works through many others to reach teens. Consider this truth from 1 Corinthians 3:6-9 (NIV), where the Apostle Paul describes how he fit into the work God was doing.

“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”

So, if you find out in a conversation that good seeds of God’s truth have been planted by their parents or some other caring adult, do your best to water those seeds. If you find out God led you to talk to a teen because seeds need to be planted, rejoice for the work God gives us and pray for those who will be sent to water those seeds.

It is also important for us to affirm the other good adults in a student’s life. Sometimes parents make decisions that kids do not like, but they do it out of love and care. Our words are powerful and it is good to think about how we are honoring them with our words. We might not agree with the choices the parents make (ie. not letting a student come to our event), but how we talk about others to students or in the presence of students is important. We need to be about encouraging positive relationships with adults, not discouraging the ones with whom we do not agree.

Teenagers are often overlooked at a time when they have to navigate a very confusing and difficult world.

Be There for Overlooked Teens

At a time when they have to navigate a very confusing and difficult world, many teens are feeling overlooked. In 2006, the National Promises Study revealed that 55% of adolescents do not have caring adults in their homes, schools, and communities. And in 2014, a report titled The Mentoring Effect showed that 13.5 million young Americans are without caring adults in their lives who have the ability to help them through critical moments when they most need guidance and support.

Very few adults are connecting with young people to support them and help them develop. So, as you talk to teens listen for clues that help you better understand how many, if any, caring adults are involved in their life and seek to show them you care. Let’s be the caring adults that fill the gap for that student.

Show Them Love and Acceptance

This one actually puts us all to the test because it calls for unconditional love. And when we meet a teen who badly wants to exercise their will to choose and their choices are not good, how will we let them know they are loved and accepted? Following are a few ways that might help you at that moment:

Trust Grace

Consider all the moments Jesus was in a conversation with a sinner. He could have brought a long list of sins and bad choices up but He didn’t. Just imagine the list of sins He could have talked to Zaccheus (Luke 19) about. Instead, He spent time with Zaccheus. Give teens the gift of love and acceptance even if you do not feel they deserve it.

Let God Love Them Through You

The truth is, God is love (1 John 4:16). If you find yourself telling God you do not know how to love someone unconditionally, you just might hear God reply and say, “I know, so let me love them through you.” If this is something on which you want to go deeper, check out this article on letting God live His life in and through you in the Spirit filled life.

Trust the Gospel

Your life was changed by God and that change affected everything. That same power can give you the power to love and transform the lives of the teenagers in your life. You can have faith in the gospel and love teens where they are today.

Colossians 1:6 (NLT)

This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.

As you step out in faith to listen and talk to teens, we want to encourage you to start with an emphasis on listening. As you focus on listening and asking good questions, you might find this helps you express love and acceptance. When you consider how teens may battle feelings of being overlooked, the experience of having someone give all their attention to you is incredibly life-giving.

God has given us some amazing opportunities to be there for students, encourage them, listen to them, and help them make wise choices. Thank you for investing in the students in your life.

Next Step

Next time you connect with a student, focus on asking questions and listening. Our Preparing Yourself for Spiritual Conversations article can give you some starter questions and practical tips.

Preparing Yourself for Spiritual Conversations

Conversations

This article is part of the Conversation Collection. Read the rest of these articles to get an even better understanding of how to have great conversations with students.

From Grief to Purpose: Finding God in the Storm

Growing up in a Christian home, she always knew about Jesus, but her relationship with Him didn’t feel personal until tragedy struck in eighth grade. Transitioning from homeschooling to public school had already pushed her out of her comfort zone, and anxiety loomed as she struggled to find her place. Then, during the fall of 2020, both her parents contracted COVID. While her mom recovered, her dad’s condition worsened, leading to months of uncertainty. She vividly remembers the day he left for the hospital and the long, heartbreaking journey that followed. Despite moments of hope, her dad passed away on February 20th, 2021. At just 13 years old, she faced the devastating reality of losing her father—a loss that shook her world and her faith.

In the midst of that grief, she began to see God’s hand at work. During sleepless nights and moments of overwhelming sorrow, God surrounded her with people who cared—friends, family, and a community that embodied His love. Though the pain of loss didn’t disappear, she found comfort in the truth that this life is not the end. Inspired by Paul’s words about eternity, she started to see her father’s passing as a reminder of the hope we have in Christ. That hope spurred her to action. On a family mission trip to Thailand, she met students leading Cru groups at their schools, and the seed was planted to start something similar back home. Despite initial uncertainty, God provided resources, opened doors, and brought others alongside her to launch Cru at her school—a ministry that has been thriving for nearly a year now.

"Anxiety loomed as she struggled to find her place."

Her story is one of resilience, faith, and transformation. Through unimaginable grief, she discovered the depth of God’s love and the strength found in trusting Him. The loss of her dad deepened her desire to share Jesus with others, knowing firsthand how essential His presence is in life’s hardest moments. Cru has given her a platform to do just that—to tell others about the God who redeems brokenness and uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. Her journey reminds us that while pain is inevitable, God is sovereign, faithful, and able to bring beauty from ashes.

Next Step

Check out Christina's Story and consider how God might use an international mission in your or another student's life.

christina's story

The Six Milestones Every Student Needs to Grow in Faith

Why These Milestones Matter

If we are not careful, students can float through our ministry without ever taking real steps forward. They might show up every week, but never really grow or take ownership of their faith. Milestones give us a simple, clear map for helping them keep moving. They help us answer the question, “What’s next for this student?” and give students the courage to take that step.

When we guide students from milestone to milestone, we are not just helping them stay involved. We are helping them grow into strong, confident followers of Jesus who are ready to lead and influence others.

Share Christ with a Student Who Doesn’t Know Jesus

Before anything else, a student needs the chance to hear the good news of Jesus in a clear and personal way. This is where it all begins. Many teenagers have never heard the gospel explained in full, even if they have been around church. Take the time to share about God’s love, our need for forgiveness, and the hope we have in Christ. The first step in their journey is not about them sharing their faith — it is about them hearing it for the first time.

Helpful Resources:

Lead a Student Through Their First Follow-Up

When a student says yes to Jesus, it is just the start of something new and exciting. The first follow-up meeting is where you can help them understand what it means to walk with God daily. It is also a chance to build trust and start a discipleship relationship. This step anchors their new faith and helps them grow instead of drifting away.

Helpful Resources:

Help a Student Understand the ministry of the Holy Spirit

Helping students understand the Holy Spirit is a game-changer. Too often, new believers try to live the Christian life in their own strength, and it leaves them frustrated. Teaching them about the Spirit-filled life shows them how to depend on God’s power for both living and sharing their faith. This is when students start to realize that God is not just calling them to do hard things — He is empowering them to actually do them.

Helpful Resources:

GodTools App (go through the Satisfied tool with them)
Holy Spirit Booklet

Holy Spirit Study in Thrive Studies

First Evangelism Experience

Many students have never had the chance to talk about their faith with someone who doesn’t know Jesus. Taking them out to share, whether on campus, at an event, or in the community, changes that. At first, they might feel nervous, but once they see God working through them, it can be life-changing. That moment when a student realizes, “God just used me to help someone understand the gospel” — that is the spark that often leads to a lifetime of ministry.

Helpful Resources:

Challenge to a Cru Training Event

There is something powerful about getting students away from their normal routine and into an environment filled with worship, biblical teaching, and friends who are chasing after Jesus. Conferences give them the space to grow, hear from God, and take big steps of faith. The bus ride there might be full of nerves, but the ride home is usually buzzing with stories of what God did. Over and over again, we have seen students return from these events ready to lead and make a difference.

Helpful Resources:

Conferences Page

Challenge to Spiritual Leadership on Campus

Teenagers are capable of more than they realize. The world constantly challenges them to step up in sports, academics, and clubs, but sometimes the church forgets to ask them to lead in ministry. Giving students real leadership opportunities — leading a Bible study, speaking at a meeting, planning an outreach — unlocks their potential and sets an example for younger students. Over time, this creates a culture where leadership is expected and contagious.

Helpful Resources:

Student Leader Section – GoToTheCampus.com

Wrapping It Up

These milestones are not a checklist to rush through. They are a pathway to help students grow, one step at a time. Every student you know is somewhere on this journey. Your role is to encourage them, challenge them, and walk alongside them as they take the next step. The goal is not just to build a ministry — it is to build students who live on mission for Jesus for the rest of their lives.

Want to dig deeper? Check out our full conversations about the Six Milestones in these YouTube videos.

Next Step

Write down the names of every student in your ministry. Identify their current milestone and decide how you can help them reach the next one.

The Priceless Project: Impacting Girls in Public Schools

The Priceless Project: Impacting Girls in Public Schools

The Priceless Project is a powerful small-group resource designed especially for girls, offering a safe, encouraging space to talk about identity, value, and purpose. It’s already making a difference in public schools, giving students a chance to connect, grow, and be reminded of their worth.

One of its greatest strengths is flexibility. The Priceless Project comes in two versions:

A Bible study version for church, youth group, or Christian school settings
A public school version with the same strong themes but without Scripture references — making it ideal for campuses that might not allow explicitly faith-based content

The public school version can be a great way to get in the door on a campus that’s difficult to access. It allows you to mentor a group of girls who need it, build relationships with them, and meet real emotional and social needs in a way that schools welcome.

Priceless Project

from Emily French

Why use The Priceless Project?

Creates a safe, respectful space for girls to share and be heard
Meets real emotional and social needs in public schools
Builds leadership and peer-to-peer mentoring skills
Easy to use, with free resources and an app for facilitators
Proven track record in schools through partnerships with teachers and administrators

All digital resources are free for Cru. Use the discount code PricelessCru at checkout. All physical books are available for purchase at iampriceless.me.

A free Priceless Project App is also available for Apple and Android — with digital curriculum, playlists, blog posts, and a safe space for facilitators to connect with the girls they lead.

You can learn more, explore the curriculum, and order resources at iampriceless.me.