Starting a Conversation With a Student

Jasmine was a volunteer at a Cru outreach. New students were showing up, and the room buzzed with potential. But instead of diving in, Jasmine felt the familiar pull toward comfort, drifting toward the other volunteers. She had to remind herself: These students might not know anyone. And God’s calling me to love them enough to go first. So she whispered a prayer, stepped out of her comfort zone, and walked up to two girls standing by themselves. A conversation started. It changed everything.

Starting a conversation might feel awkward, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do in student ministry. Whether you’re a high school leader or an adult volunteer, this is where ministry begins.

Why Is It So Hard to Start?

Let’s be honest, walking up to someone you don’t know feels risky. What if it’s awkward? What if they give one-word answers? The truth is, students feel it too. Many walk into Cru events carrying walls of insecurity or discomfort, unsure of how they fit in. They’re unlikely to approach you first, which means someone needs to take the first step. That someone might be you.

Why It Matters

A student who feels seen is a student who might come back. Starting a conversation is an act of love, and sometimes, a step of faith. It opens the door to belonging, trust, and eventually, the gospel. Many students decide whether Cru is “for them” based on their first interaction. You might be the difference between them staying or ghosting.

“Starting a conversation might feel awkward, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do in student ministry.”

How to start a conversation

1. Be Intentional

Before an event, pray for specific students. Ask God to lead you to someone who needs connection. Come with a goal, maybe it’s to meet two new students. Remember names. Snap a photo of the group and review it later. Take notes or ask them to spell their name in your phone so it sticks.

2. Be Interested, Not Impressive

Ask questions. Notice a hoodie, a backpack, or a sports team on a shirt. “Hey, are you a Lakers fan?” goes further than “So… how was your day?” Find out what they care about and care about it too. Every student is interesting. They just need someone to notice.

3. Find Common Ground

Music, shows, sports, hometowns, connection often happens in the small stuff. “How’d you hear about this meeting?” is always a solid opener. Once you find a shared interest, you’ll feel the conversation shift from forced to natural.

4. Rely on Students You Already Know

One of the best ways to meet new students is through students you already have a connection with. Ask them to introduce you to their friends at events, school, or youth group. Better yet, challenge them to bring someone new to Cru and introduce them to you. Students trust students—so let that open the door for you.

5. Be Where Students Are

Show up at school events. Sit near the student section. Ask students you know to help you learn what’s going on. Go where they already hang out, whether that’s the gym, the lunchroom, or the Chick-fil-A parking lot.

6. Be Yourself

You don’t need to be cool. You need to be present. Students are less concerned with your résumé and more concerned with whether you actually see them. God can use your personality, your story, and your awkwardness.

7. Look for the Lonely

Keep your radar up. Is someone sitting alone? Invite them to help set up, jump in a game, or pass out snacks. Give them a role. Inclusion often starts with an invitation.

“If you don’t start the conversation, it probably won’t happen.”

What to Say: A Few Conversation Starters

Are you new here? I don’t think we’ve met.
What year are you in school?
Who did you come with tonight?
I saw your t-shirt—are you a fan of that team/band/show?
What do you usually do after school?

My name’s ___. What’s yours?

Bottom Line: No Conversations = No Ministry

You can’t disciple someone you haven’t met. You can’t welcome someone you haven’t spoken to. If you don’t start the conversation, it probably won’t happen. So pray, take a deep breath, and go first. It doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be real.

Want to grow in this? Set a goal. Two new students a week. One conversation every event. Then trust God to show up.

Next Step

Ask God to direct you and then start one conversation this week with a student you do not know. Decide on several questions you can ask and see where the conversation goes!

Conversations

This article is part of the Conversation Collection. Read the rest of these articles to get an even better understanding of how to have great conversations with students.

Sample Outreach Schedule

Mingling and refreshments
Welcome (3 minutes)
Campus ministry overview from the emcee (3 minutes)
Icebreaker: Famous Couples game (10 minutes)
Dating Game (20 to 30 minutes)
Student testimony with a relationship theme (4 minutes)
Relationship talk and gospel presentation (15 to 20 minutes max)
Comment cards (7 minutes)
Announcements (2 minutes)
Refreshments and hanging out (no set time)

The key is intentional planning with a relaxed atmosphere.

Game 1: Famous Couples

Choose an even number of participants and prepare a list of famous couples ahead of time, such as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia or Romeo and Juliet. Write each name on a 3×5 card and as students enter, tape the name of one character on their back without letting them see it.

Each student may ask up to three yes or no questions per person to figure out who they are. They must also take turns answering questions when asked. The goal is to discover their identity and find their matching partner as quickly as possible. Continue until everyone is matched.

Game 2: The Dating Game

If you don’t have a lot of couples for this game, you could call it the “Best Friend Test” and have them do best friends instead. However, considering this party is about romantic relationships it is obviously better to have romantic couples playing.

This game is similar to the Best Friend Test you’ve probably seen on TikTok or shows like The Circle, or the old Newlywed game. (If you haven’t seen them, check them out). One person answers questions first, then their partner tries to guess what they said.

One partner leaves the room while the questions are asked. The partners in the room write the answers down. Then they come back, hear the same questions, and try to match their partner’s answers. Each correct match earns a point. The pair with the most points wins a prize.

The questions are light, funny, and all about how well you actually know the other person.

Dating Game Questions

For the girls (guys leave the room):

Which ice cream flavor best describes your relationship right now: Vanilla, Rocky Road, Peaches and Cream, or Tutti Frutti?
On your first date, which animal was he most like: Turtle, Kitten, Tiger, or Octopus?
How long have you been going out?
What is the most sentimental gift he has given you?

For the guys (girls leave the room):

Which Disney character would she say best describes you: Mickey Mouse, The Beast, Goofy, or Winnie the Pooh?
What song is “your song”?
What did you do on your first date?
What is her favorite perfume?
Which Valentine’s gift would she most like: candy, flowers, or a kiss?
What outfit is she wearing right now?

Optional non-gender questions

What is their go-to fast food order?
What song would they put on if they needed a hype boost?
What stresses them out faster than it should?
If they had a free day, how would they spend it?

What is something they are secretly really good at?

While relationships matter deeply to us, they also expose one of our biggest fears, the fear of not being truly loved.

Relationship Talk

Overview

The relationship talk should be short, clear, and serve as a natural bridge to the gospel. Valentine’s Day provides an easy entry point into the idea that everyone is searching for love and meaningful relationships, yet few of us have good models of what lasting love looks like.

This talk introduces the idea that there is a kind of love that lasts, a love that does not depend on performance or appearance, and that love is found in God.

Introduction

Begin with a funny or embarrassing dating story to lower defenses and help students relate.

The Talk

Relationships take a lot of time and energy, whether with parents, friends, coworkers, or romantic partners. While relationships matter deeply to us, they also expose one of our biggest fears, the fear of not being truly loved.

Psychologists often describe our greatest need as the need to love and be loved. At the same time, our greatest fear is that if people really knew us, they would reject us. Because of this, many of us wear masks and show only what we think others want to see.

Even people who care about us deeply can disappoint or reject us when we do not meet their expectations. That pain leaves us asking what real love actually looks like.

There are three common types of love people experience:

“I love you if…” love, which is conditional on behavior.
“I love you because…” love, which is based on appearance, popularity, or performance.
“I love you, period.” love, which is unconditional and unchanging.

What we truly long for is the third kind of love.

One Who Loves No Matter What

That kind of love exists, and it comes from God. God loves people for who they are, not for how they perform or what they offer. He invites us into a real relationship with Him where His love is constant and secure.

From here, transition clearly into the gospel and explain how students can have a relationship with God and experience His unconditional love.

If you’re not sure how to share the gospel, learn how to HERE

Comment Cards

Use a comment card to collect name, address, phone number, school, and grade. Include simple response options for students who received Christ, want more information, or want to get involved with your campus ministry.

Next Step

Plan your Valentine’s Day outreach early and involve student leaders in every step so more students can experience authentic relationships and hear the gospel in a welcoming environment.

Partnering with Other Ministries to Reach Your Campus

Groups like Cru, Young Life, and FCA each have their own strengths and strategies. Students connect with them for different reasons—it’s not “one size fits all.” We love and respect every group that’s helping students know Jesus. We’re on the same team, not in competition.

Here are a few ministries we often serve alongside:

Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) – Students gather in “huddles” led by coaches, giving athletes a chance to live out their faith through the sports they love.
Young Life – Leaders invest deeply in relationships, earning the right to be heard before sharing the gospel.
Church Youth Groups – Churches are a vital part of every community. Many youth leaders volunteer at schools or visit during lunch to connect with students. Cru isn’t a church—we partner with local churches to help students get plugged in.
Christian Clubs – Many campuses have Christian Clubs focused on prayer, fellowship, and Bible study. They’re often inward-facing rather than outreach-focused.

Cru’s Approach

We share Christ as soon as we have the chance, then build a network of small group Bible studies. We train students to share their faith—through group outreaches, personal conversations, and larger gatherings.

Why This Matters on Your Campus

When you are starting or growing a ministry, ask, “Who is already here?” Sometimes a group has been serving for years. Sometimes no one is reaching that school yet. Often there is room for more than one group to thrive because no single ministry connects with every student.

If another group is already present, the best move is to connect. Grab coffee with their leader, ask questions, learn what has been working, and listen for their challenges. Your posture matters. Come in as an ally, not a rival.

“We’re not in competition; we’re on the same team.”

Stepping Onto a Campus With Other Ministries

If you launch Cru where another ministry exists, remember these things:

Speak well of them in front of students.
Avoid scheduling conflicts when possible.
Focus on students they are not already reaching.
Be willing to partner for events or outreaches.

The goal is not to win students to your ministry. The goal is to help them grow in Jesus.

How to Start the Conversation

Approaching another leader can feel awkward. Keep it simple:

Ask how their group is doing at that school.
Learn which students they connect with best.
Share your heart for students and where Cru could help.
Look for ways to collaborate rather than compete.

You may be surprised how often these conversations lead to friendship and partnership.

A Simple Way to Explain Cru

When someone asks what Cru is about, you can say:

Cru is a network of student disciples who see their school as a mission field. We help students grow in their faith through small groups, training conferences, and mission opportunities locally and around the world.

When it comes down to it, no single ministry can reach every student—but together, we can make a much greater impact. Each group brings unique strengths, connections, and opportunities to the table. By cheering each other on, looking for ways to partner, and sharing a heart for teenagers to know and follow Jesus, we multiply our effectiveness. When ministries work side by side instead of in separate lanes, schools see more of Christ’s love, more students hear the gospel, and more lives are transformed for eternity.

Next Step

Reach out to a local campus ministry leader this week and start a conversation about partnering together.

Sydney’s Story

From Grief to Purpose: Finding God in the Storm

Growing up in a Christian home, she always knew about Jesus, but her relationship with Him didn’t feel personal until tragedy struck in eighth grade. Transitioning from homeschooling to public school had already pushed her out of her comfort zone, and anxiety loomed as she struggled to find her place. Then, during the fall of 2020, both her parents contracted COVID. While her mom recovered, her dad’s condition worsened, leading to months of uncertainty. She vividly remembers the day he left for the hospital and the long, heartbreaking journey that followed. Despite moments of hope, her dad passed away on February 20th, 2021. At just 13 years old, she faced the devastating reality of losing her father—a loss that shook her world and her faith.

In the midst of that grief, she began to see God’s hand at work. During sleepless nights and moments of overwhelming sorrow, God surrounded her with people who cared—friends, family, and a community that embodied His love. Though the pain of loss didn’t disappear, she found comfort in the truth that this life is not the end. Inspired by Paul’s words about eternity, she started to see her father’s passing as a reminder of the hope we have in Christ. That hope spurred her to action. On a family mission trip to Thailand, she met students leading Cru groups at their schools, and the seed was planted to start something similar back home. Despite initial uncertainty, God provided resources, opened doors, and brought others alongside her to launch Cru at her school—a ministry that has been thriving for nearly a year now.

"Anxiety loomed as she struggled to find her place."

Her story is one of resilience, faith, and transformation. Through unimaginable grief, she discovered the depth of God’s love and the strength found in trusting Him. The loss of her dad deepened her desire to share Jesus with others, knowing firsthand how essential His presence is in life’s hardest moments. Cru has given her a platform to do just that—to tell others about the God who redeems brokenness and uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. Her journey reminds us that while pain is inevitable, God is sovereign, faithful, and able to bring beauty from ashes.