Two Keys to Meeting and Relating to Students

Every flourishing student ministry has one thing in common…students! While that may be obvious, how to begin meeting and relating to students isn’t always quite so clear.

So how can we begin to meet and interact with students, in hopes of introducing them to Christ? Let’s explore the biblical basis for taking the initiative in engaging students, as well as the appropriate posture, and a helpful plan to begin building relationships with students on your campus.

The gospel has always traveled through relational channels. Jesus Himself left heaven, “became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood” to pursue lost sinners here on Earth (John 1:14, The Message). Whether it was with Nicodemus, the woman at the well, the blind man, or countless others, Jesus went to where the people were and met them on their turf.

Then He commanded His disciples to do the same (see Luke 10:1-20 and Matthew 28:18-20). For thousands of years, Jesus’ followers have been obeying this command and teaching trustworthy people who can pass the message along to others (2 Timothy 2:2). Incredibly, somewhere in this chain of events, someone helped you come to know and follow Jesus!

And now, Lord willing, you may have the opportunity to help others come to know and follow Christ as you take steps of faith to meet and relate to students on your local campus. To do this, it is important that you consider your posture and develop a plan.

Consider Your Posture

The way that we carry ourselves and interact with others, our relational posture, is critically important as we seek to develop Christ-centered relationships with students. Here are a few things to consider.

Know Your Purpose

Your purpose is to share the gospel broadly and disciple those who respond in faith. A high school campus is a highly relational ecosystem, in which students are connected in a variety of ways (classes, clubs, sports, interests, etc.). You will gain credibility and have opportunities to share Jesus as you relate well to students in this world. Seek to meet as many students as possible. The more students you meet, the more opportunities you will have to share Jesus! As students respond in faith, you will also be able to spread the gospel more broadly through their relational connections.

Be Yourself

Don’t try to be someone you aren’t. God can use a wide variety of people to reach students. Students respond best when you are authentic, sincere, and humbly confident in whom God has made you to be. The most important thing for students is to know that they can trust you and that you genuinely care about them.

Become an Insider

An insider is someone who adjusts their conversations to the students’ interests rather than just your own, meeting them on their turf, not asking them to meet you on yours. Don’t worry; you don’t need to know every latest fad or pop culture reference, but take time to learn the students’ world by asking good questions, listening, and observing. Good questions, genuine curiosity, and loving listening can go a long way toward building trusting relationships and beginning to understand the world of teens on your campus.

Be Casual, but Intentional

To be casual means that it is important to be relaxed and be yourself as you work among students. Enjoy yourself and enjoy them. To be intentional means that you remember your objective: to help the student learn more about a relationship with Jesus, so that they can know and grow in Him. As you relate to students, be prayerful, asking God to help you know how and when to turn your conversation to the student’s spiritual need. You are not there just to be a buddy, but a spiritual leader and mentor. For more perspective on this, check out this great video about relating to students.

Soularium can be a great way to engage students in casual conversation while also seeking to move the conversation toward spiritual truth. Or check out this great article for additional tips for How to Turn a Conversation to Christ.

Good questions, genuine curiosity, and loving listening can go a long way toward building trusting relationships and beginning to understand the world of teens on your campus.

2 Develop a Plan

Now that you have the right posture, it’s equally important that you have a good plan to reach as many students as possible on the campus. To start, here are a few helpful tips to begin the process.

Go to Where Students Are

As we mentioned earlier, when meeting and relating to students, it is important to engage them on their turf. While students have a unique cultural “turf,” they also have a physical turf- the places where they naturally live, learn, and play. School activities, athletic events, and restaurants near the school are all great places to find and interact with students. You may also consider volunteering at the school as a coach or tutor. Wherever students naturally gather, is where you want to be!

Meet Students With Breadth in Mind

The more students you meet, the greater opportunity you have for outreach. One way to meet more students more quickly is to strategically pursue the many natural groups that exist on campus. Mapping Your Campus can be a great strategy to begin to think through these groups and develop a plan for reaching as many students as possible.

Rely on Students You Already Know to Help You Meet Others

Ask students you know to help you meet some of their friends. It may be helpful to make a list of students you already know or who are key leaders in your movement. Challenge them to connect you to their friends over lunch, after school, or in some other setting that feels natural to them. As you attend school activities, ask students to introduce you to their friends or casually take the initiative to introduce yourself.

When hosting ministry events, be sure to consistently encourage students to invite friends and classmates who are not currently involved with your ministry. Introduce yourself to every new student who attends, and see if you can set up a time to meet with them to get to know them better in the coming days.

Be Creative

While we hope this article has provided some guiding principles, we have only begun to scratch the surface on how you can meet students on your campus. Every campus is different, and what works in one place won’t necessarily work in another. Feel free to put your own creativity to work or invite students to come up with a creative idea to connect with their peers. With the right posture and a good plan, who knows what the Lord might do?

So, get out there! There are likely hundreds of students on a campus in your community in desperate need of the gospel. Many of them are primed and ready to begin a relationship with Jesus, if only someone would take the initiative to meet them and share the good news. Take a step of faith and begin meeting them today!

Next Step

Let's practice! A great first step - choose a campus event in the next week, then go and start a conversation with three new students. Pray and ask God to lead you to students in whom He is at work creating spiritual interest. If you uncover spiritual interest, Preparing Yourself for Spiritual Conversations can help you move towards the gospel.

start a conversation

Conversations

This article is part of the Conversation Collection. Read the rest of these articles to get an even better understanding of how to have great conversations with students.

Sample Outreach Schedule

Mingling and refreshments
Welcome (3 minutes)
Campus ministry overview from the emcee (3 minutes)
Icebreaker: Famous Couples game (10 minutes)
Dating Game (20 to 30 minutes)
Student testimony with a relationship theme (4 minutes)
Relationship talk and gospel presentation (15 to 20 minutes max)
Comment cards (7 minutes)
Announcements (2 minutes)
Refreshments and hanging out (no set time)

The key is intentional planning with a relaxed atmosphere.

Game 1: Famous Couples

Choose an even number of participants and prepare a list of famous couples ahead of time, such as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia or Romeo and Juliet. Write each name on a 3×5 card and as students enter, tape the name of one character on their back without letting them see it.

Each student may ask up to three yes or no questions per person to figure out who they are. They must also take turns answering questions when asked. The goal is to discover their identity and find their matching partner as quickly as possible. Continue until everyone is matched.

Game 2: The Dating Game

If you don’t have a lot of couples for this game, you could call it the “Best Friend Test” and have them do best friends instead. However, considering this party is about romantic relationships it is obviously better to have romantic couples playing.

This game is similar to the Best Friend Test you’ve probably seen on TikTok or shows like The Circle, or the old Newlywed game. (If you haven’t seen them, check them out). One person answers questions first, then their partner tries to guess what they said.

One partner leaves the room while the questions are asked. The partners in the room write the answers down. Then they come back, hear the same questions, and try to match their partner’s answers. Each correct match earns a point. The pair with the most points wins a prize.

The questions are light, funny, and all about how well you actually know the other person.

Dating Game Questions

For the girls (guys leave the room):

Which ice cream flavor best describes your relationship right now: Vanilla, Rocky Road, Peaches and Cream, or Tutti Frutti?
On your first date, which animal was he most like: Turtle, Kitten, Tiger, or Octopus?
How long have you been going out?
What is the most sentimental gift he has given you?

For the guys (girls leave the room):

Which Disney character would she say best describes you: Mickey Mouse, The Beast, Goofy, or Winnie the Pooh?
What song is “your song”?
What did you do on your first date?
What is her favorite perfume?
Which Valentine’s gift would she most like: candy, flowers, or a kiss?
What outfit is she wearing right now?

Optional non-gender questions

What is their go-to fast food order?
What song would they put on if they needed a hype boost?
What stresses them out faster than it should?
If they had a free day, how would they spend it?

What is something they are secretly really good at?

While relationships matter deeply to us, they also expose one of our biggest fears, the fear of not being truly loved.

Relationship Talk

Overview

The relationship talk should be short, clear, and serve as a natural bridge to the gospel. Valentine’s Day provides an easy entry point into the idea that everyone is searching for love and meaningful relationships, yet few of us have good models of what lasting love looks like.

This talk introduces the idea that there is a kind of love that lasts, a love that does not depend on performance or appearance, and that love is found in God.

Introduction

Begin with a funny or embarrassing dating story to lower defenses and help students relate.

The Talk

Relationships take a lot of time and energy, whether with parents, friends, coworkers, or romantic partners. While relationships matter deeply to us, they also expose one of our biggest fears, the fear of not being truly loved.

Psychologists often describe our greatest need as the need to love and be loved. At the same time, our greatest fear is that if people really knew us, they would reject us. Because of this, many of us wear masks and show only what we think others want to see.

Even people who care about us deeply can disappoint or reject us when we do not meet their expectations. That pain leaves us asking what real love actually looks like.

There are three common types of love people experience:

“I love you if…” love, which is conditional on behavior.
“I love you because…” love, which is based on appearance, popularity, or performance.
“I love you, period.” love, which is unconditional and unchanging.

What we truly long for is the third kind of love.

One Who Loves No Matter What

That kind of love exists, and it comes from God. God loves people for who they are, not for how they perform or what they offer. He invites us into a real relationship with Him where His love is constant and secure.

From here, transition clearly into the gospel and explain how students can have a relationship with God and experience His unconditional love.

If you’re not sure how to share the gospel, learn how to HERE

Comment Cards

Use a comment card to collect name, address, phone number, school, and grade. Include simple response options for students who received Christ, want more information, or want to get involved with your campus ministry.

Next Step

Plan your Valentine’s Day outreach early and involve student leaders in every step so more students can experience authentic relationships and hear the gospel in a welcoming environment.

Partnering with Other Ministries to Reach Your Campus

Groups like Cru, Young Life, and FCA each have their own strengths and strategies. Students connect with them for different reasons—it’s not “one size fits all.” We love and respect every group that’s helping students know Jesus. We’re on the same team, not in competition.

Here are a few ministries we often serve alongside:

Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) – Students gather in “huddles” led by coaches, giving athletes a chance to live out their faith through the sports they love.
Young Life – Leaders invest deeply in relationships, earning the right to be heard before sharing the gospel.
Church Youth Groups – Churches are a vital part of every community. Many youth leaders volunteer at schools or visit during lunch to connect with students. Cru isn’t a church—we partner with local churches to help students get plugged in.
Christian Clubs – Many campuses have Christian Clubs focused on prayer, fellowship, and Bible study. They’re often inward-facing rather than outreach-focused.

Cru’s Approach

We share Christ as soon as we have the chance, then build a network of small group Bible studies. We train students to share their faith—through group outreaches, personal conversations, and larger gatherings.

Why This Matters on Your Campus

When you are starting or growing a ministry, ask, “Who is already here?” Sometimes a group has been serving for years. Sometimes no one is reaching that school yet. Often there is room for more than one group to thrive because no single ministry connects with every student.

If another group is already present, the best move is to connect. Grab coffee with their leader, ask questions, learn what has been working, and listen for their challenges. Your posture matters. Come in as an ally, not a rival.

“We’re not in competition; we’re on the same team.”

Stepping Onto a Campus With Other Ministries

If you launch Cru where another ministry exists, remember these things:

Speak well of them in front of students.
Avoid scheduling conflicts when possible.
Focus on students they are not already reaching.
Be willing to partner for events or outreaches.

The goal is not to win students to your ministry. The goal is to help them grow in Jesus.

How to Start the Conversation

Approaching another leader can feel awkward. Keep it simple:

Ask how their group is doing at that school.
Learn which students they connect with best.
Share your heart for students and where Cru could help.
Look for ways to collaborate rather than compete.

You may be surprised how often these conversations lead to friendship and partnership.

A Simple Way to Explain Cru

When someone asks what Cru is about, you can say:

Cru is a network of student disciples who see their school as a mission field. We help students grow in their faith through small groups, training conferences, and mission opportunities locally and around the world.

When it comes down to it, no single ministry can reach every student—but together, we can make a much greater impact. Each group brings unique strengths, connections, and opportunities to the table. By cheering each other on, looking for ways to partner, and sharing a heart for teenagers to know and follow Jesus, we multiply our effectiveness. When ministries work side by side instead of in separate lanes, schools see more of Christ’s love, more students hear the gospel, and more lives are transformed for eternity.

Next Step

Reach out to a local campus ministry leader this week and start a conversation about partnering together.

Sydney’s Story

From Grief to Purpose: Finding God in the Storm

Growing up in a Christian home, she always knew about Jesus, but her relationship with Him didn’t feel personal until tragedy struck in eighth grade. Transitioning from homeschooling to public school had already pushed her out of her comfort zone, and anxiety loomed as she struggled to find her place. Then, during the fall of 2020, both her parents contracted COVID. While her mom recovered, her dad’s condition worsened, leading to months of uncertainty. She vividly remembers the day he left for the hospital and the long, heartbreaking journey that followed. Despite moments of hope, her dad passed away on February 20th, 2021. At just 13 years old, she faced the devastating reality of losing her father—a loss that shook her world and her faith.

In the midst of that grief, she began to see God’s hand at work. During sleepless nights and moments of overwhelming sorrow, God surrounded her with people who cared—friends, family, and a community that embodied His love. Though the pain of loss didn’t disappear, she found comfort in the truth that this life is not the end. Inspired by Paul’s words about eternity, she started to see her father’s passing as a reminder of the hope we have in Christ. That hope spurred her to action. On a family mission trip to Thailand, she met students leading Cru groups at their schools, and the seed was planted to start something similar back home. Despite initial uncertainty, God provided resources, opened doors, and brought others alongside her to launch Cru at her school—a ministry that has been thriving for nearly a year now.

"Anxiety loomed as she struggled to find her place."

Her story is one of resilience, faith, and transformation. Through unimaginable grief, she discovered the depth of God’s love and the strength found in trusting Him. The loss of her dad deepened her desire to share Jesus with others, knowing firsthand how essential His presence is in life’s hardest moments. Cru has given her a platform to do just that—to tell others about the God who redeems brokenness and uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. Her journey reminds us that while pain is inevitable, God is sovereign, faithful, and able to bring beauty from ashes.